Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I Am 7 Dpo My Cervix Is Low And Hard

The days when things change.

Under this title is an entry that I wanted to write for a long time, perhaps should have been an early, yet only now when it seems that I dare to write about it.

people like it or not, we move in routine behavior, in fact, and believe it or not, look for them. We are dedicated to find a life based on a routine as close to our tastes, but a routine after all. Do not believe me? Think then what you have just tired the first few days of a shift work, home, etc. The routine is still not defined and this causes us extra effort.

This is not bad, every day we have to work and unfortunately have to have a schedule.

what you really want to talk, no day is routine, but on the break, and they also do forever. These days, I know well, and I would presentároslos before it alone.

I remember them well ...

You wake up, and take your "normal" day like nothing happened, you're happier than you, maybe your ideal routine, maybe not, but it is your routine, your plans, your life. You're not have not noticed, or you will, but nothing sounds the same today, everything sounds dull, like you're in a music studio, there is background noise. Although not think I remember them well.

Then, at any given time, the fact the pump, the line of no return, from that moment nothing will be the same. Nothing. From my experience and personality, the attempt to pass bad shots and bad-tasting medicine, fast and saying "and this" but I still taste this bitter pill.

take it as you want, this is very personal, and the truth, my method is not her best. After repeated barbaric.

Once past the first wave, look around, and discover that your feet have a new puzzle that compose your life. And the point is that not all the parts you had. There will be rebuilt again, find new pieces, learning to see the holes that you can not fill. So the confusion is brutal. Starting state of shock. During this time, or feel, or suffer only this, is something akin to withdrawal symptoms, your body wants to return to routine, but you can not give it. Landing

shock, hours, days, ... later, then you become aware that you have to start ordering again, wherever you can only encourage, but can not help you, in your head. So gather the pieces you are, I'll do with new ones, and discover others that you had to be taken into account before.

These days are there, and are unavoidable, are part of life. From them, recovered the routine, another routine, sooner or later, better or worse, that if at any time you've stopped living your life.

I have had two of these fucking days. The first fifteen years ago, the day when my father died. The cost to us back on their feet, but we did, my mother, my brothers and me. And I say that now we are happy, there has been a key player who did not want to put back into the puzzle, but smaller ones have come to us to look with pride the part we stayed in the road.

Another was just a year and a half ago, when half of my life decided that all was not enough. And if I stay with half the pieces. That is going to do, life gives you things that people take away. And if reconstructing the puzzle, with a difference, that now all the pieces are mine, and i do not need any.

And if I like the color you have now. If you want to show it, even you change a tab.

One of the pieces of this puzzle comes from this new blog, and is composed of all that I have / have you been. From this I can only give thanks.

0 comments:

Post a Comment